Thoughts #2

Love Can Be So confusing But In The Long Run You got to Follow Your Heart…



Its been a weird few months. Crazy crazy weird. Months without talking to the man I love most. we hit the rocks hard. I don’t quite know what happened, the specifics aren’t really important anyway. We broke up . Months of nightmare. Everything was into a coma. I was in a dilemma.


I don’t trust easily. It’s very very hard. But then when I trust, I do it as a fool.The hardest point is gaining my trust. When you gain it things go wrong when you mess up my trust.  When I returned from Nyeri I fell hard and fast for this man . He Swept me off my feet and never once doubted what we had.  Those short months of uncertainty trashed me. I was depressed, anxious, totally lost. Now I’m scared.


We had arguments like any other lovers but our arguments never lasted for long. We didn’t have…

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Never Forget You

I once met a girl that I truly loved…I  did everything she said… I was basically her little doggy… I was madly in love with her… she made me laugh… she made me cry… but I knew in my heart she was the one…


It all started when I first moved schools leaving my old life behind… I moved to an unknown school (Got Agulu Secondary School) I never heard of or a place I wasn’t familiar with (Usenge) a place only my friends Sam Owino and Andrew Kizito knew though i knew it before Andrew…
one day during the famous Jicho four outings. I saw this girl talking to her friend.. she had short hair… she was funny and seemed like the social type… I was the shy type and didn’t know what to say to her…the same day I saw her at lunch and i wanted to talk to her but didn’t know what to say… then a days passes and I ask Joseph who knows her if she is with anyone… he replies yes and I become sad… I still try to look for her to see if I would talk to her… but no luck
on finding her… So Two months passes and we happen to go to their school again, talking to people and I see her again… I couldn’t seem to find her because she dyed her hair… it was orange this time… I liked it…That day I talked to her in the pretense of asking her what they had for Lunch, because I was supposed to see her an talk to her that day… I finally had a reason to talk to her… so I did… I gave her my number and we said our goodbyes and left… I was so happy that day… Eventually we meet up again… she starts to text me and so at school I would hang out with her… she was amazing… the one day I couldn’t stand it… I
needed to have her… so on march 25 2010 I asked her out under a
clock tower at our school… she said yes… so I took her to class
and I was just so happy… Her birthday comes later 2 months later… that day we cried
because she said I wouldn’t last with her… and I cry because I loved her and i didn’t want to see her cry… I promised I would always be there for her… then she gets happy and kisses me… we go to the fair and have an amazing time… days go by… me and her love each other and the next we fight… but we still stay and love each other… one day I mess up… I told her stuff I shouldn’t have said… she gets mad and sad… I say sorry over and
over… I cried for her… she eventually forgives me… I really thought she was the one… eventually we fall madly in love… and we lose it to each other… and we get so happy we
almost have a family… but then eventually she tells me it wasn’t going to happen… and we cry… and we say we will do it again and we get happy… time goes by and we remind one
another about our love for another… then eventually we fight again… then we
break up… and she hurt me and pushed me away… so I try to get her out of my heart… a
month passes and I still cant… and so I visit her at her Campus In Eldoret go back out with her and try it again… shes scared and things I will leave her again… I try and try to get her believe I still love her and never do that again… one day a friend talks stuff on her… I didn’t like it so I went to set him straight and talk normal to him… eventually a fight happens… then he tells the school I started it when it was all him… and so I had to go to court to find out if i will end up getting sent to juvenile hall for standing up for her… I didn’t mind because it was for the love of my life… but i never tell her cause I didn’t want to worry her… time goes by… and she says she still loved me… but then one day… she says she will have to move… I get sad and cry… but then she tells me its over about 5 days later and she says she doesn’t love me anymore… I cried some more… I couldn’t eat… I couldn’t sleep… I tried to get her back… but I also messed that chance up… she stopped caring and she ends up completely gone…sometimes I wish I could go back till the times when she said she still loved me if it was ever true… she is amazing… and if she ever came back to me… I know I couldn’t resist… I just have to have her as mine again… she stole my heart and never gave it back… I wish I can tell her my feelings… but from her point of view they ain’t real… when in fact… its all that love i felt for her that kept me going… and so it goes on till now… I miss her… I cry
for her… I dream about her… I still try to play the song I tried to make for her… shes all I ever asked for… shes not perfect but then again no one is… I still love her though… I


would take a bullet for her… even after Four Years I still would… I would love to tell her I love her once again and feel her amazing lips on mine once more… I never regret meeting her… she was the best thing that ever happened to me… I would do it all again for her… even though she’s not mine… that love will be there… and I would still be there for her…

The Seven Types of Men You will meet in Nairobi


Nairobi Men image: courtesy

Singlehood. Oh how I think this is the best time for any woman to be. It is not as harsh as the Kenyan men would want to throw it on us or how desperate evil vultures (read fake preachers and witch doctors) would want to sell you all sorts of olive oil and concoctions to bag you the wealthiest bachelors in town……upuuuuuuuuuuus!
I see the strange look on all the women’s faces when after a brief introduction; I tell them I’m single. Well, even if you spotted me with an engagement ring, i’m still single. The government is clear: you are either married, single, divorced or widowed. Let’s do a quick scan here…none of my previous hubbies(read boyfriend has ever died), I still have not done my Attorney General wedding( me thinks weddings are overrated, just get me a nice 100 by 100 plot hapo Ruiru and…

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Mama Abu

“Ochieng you will make it” – Mum


My Mother was a woman
like no other. she gave
me life, nurtured me,
taught me,
fought for me, dressed
me, shouted at me,
kissed me, but most
importantly she loved
me unconditionally.
There no enough words
I can say that can
describe how important
my Mother was to me for just 11 years.

And  a powerful
influence she continues
to be.



You and Them

If you are successful,  you will win some false
friends and some true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Am My Own Greatest ASSET

More often than not when we are asked what our best asset in life is we are quick to say our family, our friends, our relatives e.t.c
What we fail to realize is that YOU are YOUR best asset, your education, your health, your skills, your network.

Then I came across this by Mousumi
Kumar Saha….

Five reasons you must appreciate yourself.

1. “Love yourself—accept yourself— forgive yourself—and be good to
yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia. Each one of us is the infinite source of wonderful things that ‘come out best’ if we truly love and accept ourselves the way we are, and forgive ourselves for the past mistakes. If you can’t love yourself, you cannot expect love from others.

2. “Love yourself or no one else will.” – Unknown
People who don’t love themselves are extremely monotonous and completely uninteresting with low confidence and suffer from inferiority
complex. How would you feel in their company? Surely not good! The same way how can you expect people to be loving and fair with you when you aren’t fair to yourself?

3. Loving yourself creates a belief and faith system with which you contribute to the world in unique ways. A strong self-belief builds a positive perception of yourself about the things around and the world. When you are in conflict about yourself in deep within, you perceive the whole world as fault. Work on building a stronger self. When your actions become positive, you witness a sea change in your life and it becomes more positive and meaningful.

4. We all are blessed with just one precious life. Should we waste it by not loving ourselves? If anybody can put yourself down, then it is you; promise yourself you are not going to underestimate your self esteem and dignity by hating yourself anymore.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you.What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” ― C. JoyBell C.

5. “People who love themselves come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self- confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness.” ― Sanaya Roman
Forgiveness, generosity and humility these are some healthy habits that are born within you the very moment you start loving yourself. Learn to Accept yourself with faults. Accept
yourself even if you are not what you aspire to be. Love yourself accepting all your mistakes and weaknesses. Unconditional Self- Acceptance will train you to treat others with compassion. It creates more positive environment and inspires you to be
good to life. Last but not least… “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

So don’t be afraid to love yourself and appreciate yourself before you start trying to figure other people out, or sharing your love and appreciation with might give you a head start to a better relationship with others..your family, colleagues and even your boss….

Life Lessons So Far


1. RELATIONSHIPS- Not all relationships lead to marriage. Live the moments with the one in your life and take lessons from every episode Because you will need them later in life.

2. FRIENDSHIP- Great friends are people who appreciate you, help you grow, inspire and encourage you to achieve greater heights. Great friends are people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. Pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.

3. FOCUS- Where your focus is, that is where your energy goes.
4. INTENTIONS- Everyone has intentions, very good intentions. Intentions do not matter until you act on them.

5. PASSION- Passion is a beautiful thing. If not backed with a skill or ability, then it may not help you much.

6. KINDNESS- Never miss an opportunity to do an act of kindness. It is easier to be smart and dressed well than to be kind.

7. LUCK- Make your own luck. Luck plays a part in success, but the harder you work, the luckier you get.

8. SELFWORTH- Know your worth. Know the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for the people who won’t even jump a pool for you

9. GOALS- If you do not set your own life goals, soon you will be achieving other people’s goals for them.

10. LEARNING- The most powerful word in the English language is “Why.” There is nothing so powerful as an open, inquiring mind. Whatever field you choose for starting a business – be a lifelong student. Learning never stops.

11. MONEY- Sometimes people say that Money cannot buy everything, It could be true, but just ensure it is not your excuse of not working hard.

12. THE PAST- Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. You may not discover new seas if you’re not willing to lose sight of the shores

Story of my life

Every love story ends with the two people cuddling into ever-after bliss



I am captivated by how people in love
just sort of mesh together. You see them
walking down the street and they
somehow look the same, and they dress
the same, and they didn’t even try. And
they don’t notice but they are walking
in step and they are leaning into each
other, and even if they aren’t holding
hands, their fingers keep brushing. And
when you talk to a couple, you can tell
the second you meet them that they are
together, because they laugh at the same
time and they talk similarly. And it
isn’t because they are trying to copy one
another, they are just so perfectly fit
that they sort of put the good parts of
themselves together to make one big,
happy two headed person.
I like that.
I like looking at people in love.
Real love is this magical, warm nest that
you build…

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