The Side Chick 😇



Call her the other woman, the homewrecker, the mistress, the “thot”; I refer to her as the side-chick. You’ve seen her, dealt with her, dated her, hell, you’ve probably been her once or twice before. The side-chick is a complex individual whom no one ever takes a moment to understand. Most of us usually just write her off as “thirsty” or “pathetic.” In recent years, television has done its part in further examining this complicated woman. (See: “Scandal” or “Being Mary Jane”) The side-chick is not just the second option; she’s also a human being.
So A very beautiful friend of mine who happens to be A Side Chick tried to explain to Me what it is like to be A Side Chick the way they Think.

So here is her Explaination in a narrative Way. So this is her perception.

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‘My only involvement in infidelity has been as the victim. The closest I’ve ever gotten to be oming a side-chick was a couple years ago when my ex-boyfriend tried to spark something behind his girlfriend’s (who was the side-chick in our past relationship by the way) back. I turned him down; it was really hard to let go but I did. I could never share a man. That’s just not who I am. However, I admit that many times I’ve wondered what it would be like to keep such a steamy secret. How does it feel to be a guilty pleasure? I wondered if the side ever felt jealous of the main or did she find comfort in being the excitement to another woman’s man. I have many interesting types of friends. A few of my girlfriends are a bit more freethinking than I am in the love department. Some of my friends find nothing wrong with dating married men or men in committed relationships. And although they’re my girls, I still can’t co-sign with their choice of being the side-chick. Sometimes my disapproval is based on my sympathy for the poor clueless girlfriend but most times I just want my friend to respect herself.

After years of witnessing, experiencing and discussing the side-chick — and also a developed obsession with “Scandal” – I started to form some understanding of the side-chick psyche. I broke it down into 5 main thought processes. Keep in mind this is all hypothetical.

1. The Reason: It’s Innocent

Most times, it starts with just a flirty friendship. Both parties know where it will go but despite better judgement, they go forward. Innocent “friendships” and hang-out sessions rapidly snowball into an affair. The side-chick will say she meant no harm. Thus: “It just happened.”

2. The Addiction: Thrill and Desire

What keeps her engaged is that she is strongly desired. She is seen as danger, a thrill, a taboo pleasure. Who wouldn’t want to feel like that?

3. The Rationalization: Comfort & Denial

True, side-chicks can be heartless and there are many who have hidden agendas, like gold-digging. But not all are like that. Sometimes, these things happen out of poor judgment. At this stage, she may be either fearful of catching feelings or she may start to feel guilty. So she rationalizes: “If he really loves her then why is he coming home to me? Ha! I’m winning.” “I don’t care; he’s not my man anyway. I would never seriously date a cheater.” “He said he and his girl are about to break up. It’s not really cheating.” “We have something special. It’s so complicated! No one understands us but us!”

4. The Emotions: Hope & Jealousy

Things are getting hot and heavy. Oh no! She’s falling in love. Now, she is hoping that he’ll choose her as his main squeeze. Phone calls are now being made earlier than midnight. She is texting during the hours she knows he is with the girlfriend/wife. Instagrammed couple-photos are now a must. The demand for girlfriend treatment is rising.

5. The Fear: Please Don’t Leave Me!

For whatever reason, whether girlfriend #1 left and boyfriend resorted to the runner-up or the boyfriend actually chose side-chick over girlfriend #1, the side-chick has finally won her prize. No more secrets. She’s relieved and excited. She Instagrams the hell out of the relationship. All of her social media friends now know who “Him” is and why the constant statuses of love song lyrics. However, soon after the thrill is gone, the former side-chick starts wondering. Paranoia strikes. “Will he cheat on me like he did with me?” “How you get him is how you lose him, right?” “Who’s that bitch liking his photos?”

Like I said, this is just my theory. I can only say this is true for the side-chicks I’ve encountered and based on the stories I’ve been told.



The BoyFriend She Wants..

imageSo She Read my Earlier most read blog LETTER to MY NEW GIRLFRIEND…. decided to do me a Reply 😂. So This Is How She Started…

I want a best friend. I want someone to laugh with. I want someone to go on adventures with.
I don’t want a storybook romance. I don’t want candlelight dinners or walks on the beach. I don’t want roses and wine.
I want to go to the batting cages. Let’s race go carts. Play putt putt golf. Let’s go on a drive with no destination. Or let’s stay in and build a blanket fort, order takeout and watch movies all night.
Take me on a picnic. Take me to your favorite place. Let’s take off for a weekend and go camping. Let’s drive four hours to see our favorite band play. Let’s go on a road trip. Or not. Let’s be spontaneous.
Introduce me to your friends.
Let’s stay up until 3AM talking about our dreams and our fears. Tell me your deepest secrets. I want to know your favorite color,(Do Men even know colours?) What food can you not stand to eat? Where do you most want to go in the world? I want to know everything there is to know about you. And I want you to know me.

Couples Enjoying The Beach

Be the person I want to tell everything to. The person I fall asleep thinking about and wake up dreaming about.
I want someone to fight with. Someone to argue with about what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch. I want someone to tell me when I’m being overbearing and unreasonable.
But I also want you to tell me how beautiful I am. I want you to spoil me. Cook me dinner and rub my back after a long day. Kiss my forehead and tell me you care. Hug me tightly in your arms.
Comfort me when I need it most.
And let me do all those things for you. Let me be the shoulder you cry on. The ear you confide in. The arms that help you up. The hand that you hold.
I’ll be here for you on good days and bad. I want to laugh with you. I want to cry with you. Wipe away my tears and I will kiss away yours. Let me love you because I will love you more than anything in this world.
Mr. My Future Boyfriend are You There…? Are You Ready… to do what I Have Stated There..?
Am Waiting..!

So Guys Whats Your Take ..?

Why At Times You Have To Let Nice People Leave.

Shot By Brian Umaka

People always say you can’t really explain why you feel a certain way about someone. Why you click with some people more than others or why you suddenly feel connected to a stranger. I feel like God brings us closer to certain people because these are the people we need in our lives right now. These are the people who will either teach us important lessons about life or about ourselves.
There’s a reason why God moves your heart toward a specific person and a reason why you get attached to certain people more than others. When I look back, there’s not one person I got really attached to who didn’t have something valuable to teach me or didn’t play a major role in my life. And the irony is, most of these people were temporary because their duty was to show me a different way and then set me free.
Sometimes the stage of your life determines what kind of people you attract and I think that’s the beauty of faith, God sends you the people you need at exactly the right time. He gives you the answers you were looking for through these people. He enlightens you by bringing you closer to people who bring out the best in you. He helps you when you’re struggling by pulling you closer to those who are capable of digging you out of your darkness.
It’s just that sometimes we try to turn these temporary people into forever people but that’s not their role. They’re not meant to stay in our lives forever. God called them to be there for us for only a short period of time. God called them to be in our lives so they can make us better for the ones who are meant to stay forever.
The problem is we become frustrated when these people leave because we can’t let go. We don’t understand why God would take away something so beautiful or someone who healed us but if you look at it from the perspective that if these people overstayed their welcome, their beauty will fade away, their love will die, their story will not be inspiring anymore and they will turn into a burden we’re not meant to carry, it will all start making sense.
The essence of letting go is faith. Faith that this story is better left the way it is. It’s better left the way God wrote it. Maybe rewriting it will ruin the story. Maybe changing it will not give you a happy ending. Maybe these people are angels sent to you to teach you a lesson or heal you or make you a better person and when their time is up, they fly away. They’re meant to be placed in someone else’s life.
Maybe these people are also teaching you how to let go, how to detach, how to realize when someone’s part in your story is over and have faith that the next person God brings you closer to is exactly who you need, even if you don’t know it yet.
Because I know that the day we meet the person who is meant to stay forever, we’d be able to spot them from a mile away, we’d recognize them in a crowded room because we finally understand the difference between someone who touches our hand and someone who touches our soul.mother_africa_2___ebore_girl_by_fairiesndreams-d5k397f


I wish you could have lived to see me grow to be what I am today. I had no opportunity to say the word ‘mama’ to you in my 10+ older. I envied my age mates when they called their mothers ‘mum’. Some would brag about their mothers while others would take them as their refuge and defense. I remember many times I fell sick and none would take me to hospital. I got used to being chased from people’s houses where I sought places to sleep since dad didn’t built a house for me. I wish he had his own; I would go and rest in that dusty floor. Many times I slept in the cold having been chased in the death of the night with no alternative place to go for sleep. I was accused of not having a blanket of my own. Dad wasn’t their for me either. For the 8 years I was in Top Ten class position in Kenyatta and General Kago Primary School, the only appreciation I received was that forced claps during closing day! As I grew up, I went to Our Ushago I tend to visit your cemetery next to our Family House in Sakwa Bondo where at Age 11 I witness them lowering your casket so as to forever separate you with Me. I wish I could decorate that Burial site with precious stones!
I still use my Dad’s name in all my documents because I want to appreciate him even though i never got to meet Him even though I later forgave him. What I know you is that He existed; this old photos of you two Him in a Well fiting nice Suit and You Mum in that Tiny Mini Skirt, Head skurf and a well fitting Blouse (You guys slayed) and this golden mark of umbilical cord in my tummy tells it all! Mum, You were a very nice beautiful dark lady ever smiling even during moments of pain. I Loved how you would toss me up in the air in joy … the way you used to call me ‘Daddy’, and that nice story of how I Started eating Meat especially matumbo those words and stories still live on. Ooh mum!
But mum, whenever you are just Pray for your Sons and Daughter. Am Repeating just pray for them.

He Doesn’t Get Attached Anymore

He doesn’t get attached because he simply learned that attachment is the root of all evil.
It makes him cling to things he should let go of. It makes him chase people that are wrong for him. It makes him go after things that are probably not meant for him. It clouds his logic and his judgment because he’s holding on out of fear rather than conviction.

He doesn’t get attached because he learned that not everything is his to keep.
That there are blessings in letting go and goodbyes and releasing whatever was holding him back. He knows that the more he is attached to something and afraid of losing it, the more he will push it away because he’s only focused on rather than giving.

He doesn’t get attached because he knows that people eventually leave.
They don’t always mean what they say. They don’t always keep their promises. They don’t always come back. They don’t always love him forever and even if they do, love is sometimes not enough to keep a relationship going. He knows that getting attached too soon will always end in disappointment. He knows that people change their minds overnight.

He doesn’t get attached anymore because he’s tired of people pulling away, people changing their minds, people leaving, people not knowing what they want or what they’re looking for.

He doesn’t get attached anymore because he realized that one-sided attachment hurts.
One-sided attachment always brings him pain. One-sided attachment makes him love himself a little less and makes her forget his own worth. He realized that when he gets attached, he loses himself and he vowed never to lose himself for anyone ever again.

He doesn’t get attached anymore because he’s learning to let go, he’s learning to move on, he’s learning that it doesn’t always have to be his way.
He’s learning that his heart is not always right and attraction can be blind. He’s slowly learning to detach from everything that makes him question himself or his love.

He doesn’t get attached but he still knows how to love. He’s finally accepting that they’re not the same.
He’s finally learning that if you really love someone, maybe releasing them is the expression of love. Letting them be who they truly want to be or be with the partner they’ve always wanted. He’s finally learning that if He’s meant to be with someone, they’ll both kind of attach to each other by default, like a magnet, without anyone pushing or pulling, without anyone detaching and without any need to control one another.

He doesn’t get attached anymore because he’s finally learning that everything is temporary and maybe the whole point of love is just to enjoy it while it lasts instead of trying to cling to it forever.


8 Elements Of Social Media Marketing

8 Fundamental Elements of a Successful Social Media Marketing Strategy

Caitlin Burgess on May 23rd, 2017     Social Media



Social media is a staple marketing tactic for nearly every business, helping brands build awareness, share and interact with customers and prospects, and create important touch points in the changing customer journey.

However, both green and seasoned marketers are still trying to nail down what a successful social media marketing strategy looks like. According to Social Media Examiner’s 2016 industry report, 90% of marketers say social media is important to their business. However, just 41% say they’re able to measure the ROI of their social activities.

As any successful marketer will tell you, the road to success begins by physically documenting your strategy. As for what needs to be included, below you’ll find some essential elements to consider.

#1 – Your brand’s value proposition.

The first step in building a successful social media marketing strategy is defining the value your brand brings to your social media audiences. Why? Because if you can’t define the value, you certainly won’t be able to show any value.

Ask yourself: Why would someone follow or engage with me on social? What do I want my followers to know about my brand? What value can I bring to my audience through content and engagement on social? Then craft a simple mission statement of sorts, and use that to help guide the rest of your strategy development.

~If you can’t define the value, you certainly won’t be able to show any value.~

#2 – Your objectives.

Simply put, there can be no strategy if there’s no end goal. Your objectives are the foundation of your strategy, guiding every decision and tactic that comes next.

Use the goals outlined in your overall digital marketing strategy as a starting point. This will allow you create social-specific goals that help contribute to the larger marketing mission. Whether you want to increase your number of followers, boost referral traffic to your website, foster engagement or drive more conversions, set goals that can be measured. In addition, consider setting benchmark goals so you can gauge the success of your efforts as you go and make improvements as needed.

#3 – Your defined audience.

The success of your social media marketing efforts hinges on your ability to empathize and connect with your target audience. As a result, you need to understand their motivations, pain points, and content interests and needs.

Dig into website and social platform analytics, and talk with your sales team to uncover key customer insights and characteristics. Then use what you find to develop a customer persona—which is a general representation of who your target customer/follower is.

~Your success hinges on your ability to empathize & connect w/ your audience.~

#4 – Your channel mix.

Each social media platform offers a little something unique. As a result, many marketers may be tempted to design strategy that includes a presence on every platform. But—as with most things in the digital marketing world—quality over quantity is definitely a good rule of thumb.

While you’re compiling audience research to create your personas, find out what channels are driving the most website traffic and on-page engagement (i.e. time on page or pages per visit), and inciting the most engagement on the platform itself (i.e. comments, likes and shares). In addition, do some competitive research to learn where your fiercest competitors are spending their time on social media and the type of engagement they’re getting. This research will allow you get a look at your internal and competitive landscape, and help you prioritize and triage your efforts.

Finally, look back at the objectives you outlined to determine which platforms are best suited for helping you reach those goals. For example, if one of your social media marketing goals is to attract or recruit new talent, a visual platform like Instagram is the perfect place to show off your company’s amazing workplace culture. On the other hand, if your goal is fostering engagement through discussion, Facebook may be a must-have platform within your mix.

#5 – Your content mix.

In today’s social media landscape, simply sharing links to your company website or blog with a bit of text will not drive your objectives. Your followers want and expect more from you.

Use all the aforementioned elements to guide the creation of a content plan that includes the appropriate mix of images, videos, links and discussion starters tailored to each platform.

#6 – Your posting and engagement schedule.

Maintaining a consistent presence on your social channels is vital to the success of your marketing efforts. If you disappear for long periods of time, it’s easy for your audience to forget about you—and can prove more difficult to build engagement back up. Similarly, over-posting can be an annoyance, and cause your audience to turn away. So, your ultimate goal is to be a regular fixture in news feeds, but not overwhelm your audience.

Develop a daily, weekly or monthly plan or schedule that details:
•Who is responsible for posting or monitoring your social media feeds
•When the content is being shared (i.e. dates and times)
•Where the content is being shared (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.)
•What content is being shared (i.e. website link, curated content, image, video, etc.)
•How you’ll be sharing content (i.e. live tweeting at an event; native vs. using a social media management tool to schedule in advance)

~Maintaining a consistent presence on your channels is vital to success.~

#7 – Your method of measurement and data analysis.

Measurement and data analysis are vital to any strategic initiative, providing you with the insights you need to continually refine your approach and ultimately prove ROI.

Outline the specific analytics tools and metrics you’ll use to gauge success—both on (native engagement) and off (your website) social platforms. For example, if one of your goals is to drive more website traffic through social channels, Google Analytics or your preferred analytics platform will be a critical tool to include. As for measurement, some of the metrics you’ll want to look at include time on page, number of pages per visit and assisted conversions.

#8 – Authenticity.

If you want to achieve social media success, the importance of authenticity cannot be overstated. The beauty of social media is that you have the opportunity to show your audience who you are, not just what you sell.

Develop a brand voice that brings a human element and some personality to your social media pages. Lose the jargon or sales pitch, and talk to people on their level



You’ve been calling her consistently for the past one hour, and she has been avoiding your calls like plague for all that while.May I add that you’re annoying and irritating, for I have to start all over again.
“Wait, Joe, I think he knows…”
No, of course you don’t know anything. You’re just suspicious,a voice in you afraid to utter out your little insecurities; lest you lose her, or so you think. Poor you!
“Remmie, relax, he has no idea, it’s just you and me right now; forget him!” I smirk back, loving the sheepish nod she gives me back.
Two or three kisses later, you’re just but a frigment of her memory, the tiny bit I can’t totally wipe. I guess she does really care for you. I don’t give a hoot anyway.
She’s all high, slowly giving in to my demands as I take pleasure in teasing her…

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Men Silent Treatment

A lot of times men are silent in situations because they don’t have the ability to clearly express their thoughts in a way that women can understand and they always have to worry about a negative reaction possibly happening. Especially if it’s a situation where there is a lot of emotion like an argument or breakup.

Courtesy Google

Women are extremely sensitive to negative comments from their man. So sometimes it’s better for a man to just shut up in a situation like that. I mean, look how many women argue with me on my page about what men think and go thru. And everything I post is clearly articulated and makes sense. So imagine what men deal with on a daily basis dealing with women. There is also the pride factor. Sometimes the male ego makes it very difficult to admit wrongdoing or take responsibility for something they’ve done. Especially if they feel that whatever they were doing was right or justified.images-19

If any adult feels that there is something that needs to be said to their partner they need to bring it up. Discuss it. That’s what adults do. Ending a relationship without knowing what was really going on or if it could have been worked out is always a big mistake. Communication works both ways and requires more than just stating your point. Listening with the purpose of understanding is the most important part of making a relationship last.

McOgutu &  Alusa , Picture courtesy of Increatives Kenya, Karura Forest

This Man Miguna Miguna…

It was set to be an objective debate bringing together contestants for the Nairobi Gubernatorial seat, but things could not end up that way. First, most of the contestants kept off the debate with Miguna and Passaris being the only candidates who showed up for the Koinange Live show. Word on the streets is after the previous debate that went up in flames with Miguna tearing into his opponents and Bishop Wanjiru being the most torn causality, most kept off facing him off. But one woman braced the intimidations and showed up, Passaris.

Miguna who has engraved his campaign on dismantling the corruption cartel comes out as one of the candidates with clearest manifestos and a firebrand with a spirited fight to dismantle the wall. Being a braggart by nature with self-praise intellectualism, Miguna who’s now self-baptized himself as Kenya’s Trump version is a man you need iron pants to debate with. Miguna is authoritarian his physical attributes intimidating, he’s disturbingly loud and has one of the fastest mouths in the market. A bully by nature, you have to prepare like it’s a world war before you take on him in a debate or end up being run over.

Passaris on the other hand who is so far the only female candidate in the male-dominated field to make a mileage in pursuing the governor post came collected even though she knew exactly what to expect when debating with Miguna. In a society where male dominance is still in full glare and women squeezing their ways through, it was commendable she braved up to a face off.

The debate was going well until Miguna was served with a defamatory demand letter from Passaris over his persistent attacks on his social media page. He laughed it off before going full army attack on her deviating from the core discussion issues and drowned into personal attacks on the lady.

He went ahead calling her names that shouldn’t have been aired on national t.v. Miguna was consumed in emotional fury hurling unprintable words. This was happening at a prime time when families of both parties were watching you can imagine the pain and disturbances caused on them. Just like his copy Trump made jokes about grabbing women pussy, Miguna made an omelet out of Passaris with insensitive rape jokes. He alluded that Passaris is a good digger and beauty that everyone wanna rape, does this then mean all beautiful women should be raped? He said he’s success is entirely on her beauty and light skin nature does it mean to Miguna that women can’t go up the ladder without sexual prowess? Is that his stamped mindset and tool he uses to uplift those in his scope?